Attempt 801
by penna.nomen
Summary: Michael decides to take the role of Eleanor's soulmate. What could go wrong?


_A/N: AO3 Chocolate Box exchange gift, inspired by a prompt for Michael/Eleanor. Spoilers for the early episodes of season 2._

 **Attempt 801**

In his daily notes, Michael had boasted, "This time I have a foolproof plan to torture the humans and to prevent Eleanor from guessing what's going on."

Attempt 801 started the same as most of the others, but he could barely contain his excitement as he waited for the new twist to emerge.

It didn't take long. Shortly after he showed Eleanor around her house she said, "So. You said everyone here has a soulmate. When do I meet mine?"

Michael smiled. "You already have. I'm your soulmate, Eleanor."

"Aren't you, like, an angel or something?"

"I'm flattered." Michael chuckled. "Have a seat, and I'll explain."

They sat on the surprisingly uncomfortable, primitive Icelandic-style sofa, and Michael told a story about being an architect on Earth for projects to combat homelessness. He said his greatest unfulfilled wish had been to design an entire neighborhood, and he'd been brought to this neighborhood ahead of all the other residents to grant his wish. "It's so exciting," he said after half an hour of expounding on the process.

"Uh-huh," said Eleanor, meaning she was nearly bored out of her mind but pretending to care because he was her soulmate.

"To see my vision come to life, to know that I was responsible for each element, every decision… Well, it's been a dream come true. And my next dream is to share this neighborhood with you. I can't wait to show you every detail." He slapped on a wide smile. "Fortunately we have an eternity! What do you say, Eleanor?"

She took advantage of his pause to say, "Look, Michael. I can trust you, right? As my soulmate, you'll stand by my side no matter what."

"Of course."

"Here's the thing." She gestured toward the screen. "Those memories you showed me… They aren't mine. And I don't like clowns, or icy-whatever furniture. They got my name right, but that's all. Somebody forked up."

There was a pause as she learned she couldn't swear here. That was an element Michael kept in each reboot because it annoyed her so much. But he suppressed his amusement and shook his head in dismay. "It's my fault."

"No," Eleanor insisted. "It's a great neighborhood. They can't blame you."

Now he stood, wringing his hands. He'd learned that from watching Chidi. "No, Eleanor, you don't understand. Nothing like this has ever happened before in any other neighborhood. The only new variable is me. I need to tell the Prime Architect that I failed."

"What if this all sorts itself out, or – and go with me on this – what if it's a test to see if you can handle the architect job?" Eleanor reached out for his hand and tugged him back to the sofa. "Don't give up now. You've got this, man. You designed an amazing neighborhood. We just gotta work out the kinks."

Michael sat down beside her again. "I suppose it's possible I mixed up your profile with someone else's. If we mingle with the other residents, maybe we can learn who really got innocent people off death row and loves clowns."

"Right! It's absolutely that, you know, and not…"

"Not what?" he prompted, wondering if she'd admit her doubts of whether she belonged here.

"It's nothing. Let's get to know everyone."

"Wait." Michael gave her a look of mock fear. "What if you aren't the only resident I mixed up with someone else?"

And with that, Eleanor was primed to torture her fellow humans, questioning if they belonged in the Good Place.

"This is bad," Michael fretted. "I really think I should report it."

"Report what?" Eleanor asked. "We don't know what's going on, yet. I vote we wait."

He took one of her hands and clasped it between his own. "I know that you're my soulmate for a reason, so I'm going to take your advice. It would be irresponsible to take up the Prime Architect's time until I have a better understanding of what's going on here."

Over the next several months drew out the suspense: Were the malfunctions a flaw with his design, or were they because Eleanor didn't belong in the Good Place?

He never said that she didn't belong, but made sure his actions and discoveries pointed in that direction. After four months, he planted the seeds of doubt about their relationship. If Eleanor's profile had been mixed up with someone else's, were they really soulmates? Because if she wasn't his soulmate, then maybe he shouldn't follow her advice to keep quiet about the issues in the neighborhood.

That initiated a round of seduction, where Eleanor tried to prove they were meant to be together. Or at least to convince him to stay quiet so he could have sex with her.

He kept Eleanor away from Chidi most of the time. When she inevitably decided on a path of self-improvement, Michael was on the spot to disrupt their schedule with new neighborhood emergencies.

A year into the experiment, Michael initiated a reboot. He told the demons that Chidi had figured it out this time, but that was a lie. None of the humans had learned the truth.

Now he returned to his office to summarize what he'd learned from this experiment.

"There were two unexpected and unique developments in the last attempt," he said in his notes. "As a consequence of my taking the role of Eleanor's soulmate, her efforts to keep me from reporting the neighborhood issues included seducing me. I had anticipated that, but failed to account for my own reaction. The intimacy did increase my sense of attachment to Eleanor. That made it increasingly difficult to torture her."

Michael stood up and walked around the room, aware that until the last reboot he'd always remained seated when dictating his notes. "In the last month I was experiencing what humans call _feelings_. These were uncomfortable and rather itchy. At times my judgement felt compromised, and I got lost in the role. For instance, yesterday I was encouraging Eleanor's efforts of self-improvement instead of stopping them. Therefore, I've decided it would be unwise to play the role of soulmate for any of the humans in future reboots."

He paused the recording a moment. Had he really confessed a personal weakness? This had been more than an error in planning or foresight. He'd actually forgotten what side he was on and started supporting the humans. If the last reboot had continued, he might actually have come to think of himself as one of them.

Fortunately he'd put an end to that. Befriending the humans. What a ridiculous idea. It should be impossible, but it had started to seem all too possible. When Eleanor said she loved him, he'd panicked and initiated the reboot because he'd been tempted to admit how fond he'd become of her.

Michael hit _rewind_ , and started over. "There was one unexpected and unique development in the last attempt. Due to the demands of being Eleanor's soulmate, I didn't have time to run things behind the scenes as I had in the past, and I delegated more authority to Vicky. I'm concerned at how she started excluding me from decisions, and how her ambition led to actions that undermined my efforts. Therefore, I've decided it would be unwise to play the role of soulmate for any of the humans in future reboots."

 _A/N: I'm so glad I picked up this request. I loved exploring how this experiment would have affected Michael. It seemed like a natural step toward his "team cockroach" suggestion._

 _Thanks to Silbrith for working her beta reader magic!_


End file.
